We all have those not so lucid moments when we say or do totally off the wall things that just don't make much sense. I guess I just seem to have those moments more often than other people. My brother use to say to me, quite frequently, "if common sense is so common, how come you don't have any?"
Apparently I wasn't around the day God was handing it out, but I was in line when he was handing out the blond gene. I guess that's the Polish in me.
My most recent blond/Polish moment, as my family refers to these totally ridiculous junctures in my life, came last week. The Bear called me all excited at work and told me that he got me an early birthday present, "it's something that you've been wanting for a long time."
"Yes, finally diamond earrings!" I quietly thought to myself.
"Are you going to tell me or do I have to wait in suspense?" I asked.
"Well it's something that you can use when you get home if you want," the Bear replied trying to clue me in.
"Hmm, what am I going to cut glass?" I started to reason, I was grasping for straws.
"It's a beater bar for the central vac!" said the Bear almost squealing with excitement.
"Seriously?" I asked, you can imagine how hard it was for me to try and contain my excitement.
Later that night when I arrived home the Bear asked me if I wanted to try my new gift out.
Again, working hard to control my emotion, "that's ok. I'll wait until tomorrow, I don't want to wake the boys."
The next day the restless Bear called from work, "so did you try it yet?"
"Just getting ready to fire this baby up, I'll let you know how it works at lunch."
After we hung up the phone I took my new beater bar up the stairs and hooked the hose into the wall and went to town vacuuming my troops' barracks. As I'm swaying the beater bar back and forth, I noticed it's not really sucking much up. I thought to myself, "what a piece of junk...he should have went with the earrings."
At lunch time the hungry Bear bustled through the door all chipper, "so how did it work?"
"It's a peace of junk, return it. I was just up in the kids room and it barley sucked anything up," I retorted.
Deflated the Bear said he go check to see what was wrong with it.
As soon as he got to the top of the stairs the Bear growled for me to come up and show him how I was using the vacuum.
So, to oblige him, I attached the hose to the central vac, flipped the switch and started to vacuum. "Look it's barley sucking anything up," I whined.
"That's because you didn't plug the beater bar into the wall," roared the Bear. "Didn't you noticed it wasn't making any noise?"
"Oh," I said feeling a little silly. "I thought that it was suppose to be quiet...I thought it was a special feature! That was the only thing I liked about it!"